Sometimes My Best Doesn't Seem Good Enough: Affirming myself through self-criticism

“Do not be discouraged. Keep doing. Keep showing up. The change is inside THEN out.”

That’s the status I wrote on my Facebook page this morning. Kind of a personal ‘note to self’ that I decided to share publicly. I had to remind myself of these things because I could feel the waves of discouragement starting to roll in last night after my yoga class. I’ve come to understand that gaining flexibility is not an overnight process, but how long will it take to see the process working?!! My forward folds are mad awful, like, I bend forward and it doesn’t look like I moved. In my head I just keep repeating to myself, “You’re doing your best. It’s okay. This is as far as you can go…today. It’s okay.”

But the pep talks don’t do very much when the ego wants to jump in and remind me that “you’ve been going to your personal yoga trainer for nearly 7 months…you go to classes 2, sometimes, 3 times a week now…you’ve been in teacher training a month…how are YOU going to be good enough to teach anybody in a few months…shouldn’t you be better by now?!!” My ego is EXTREMELY chatty and for some reason she thinks we’re cool enough for her to be talking sideways to me like that, in the middle of a yoga class no less.

So, I had to remind myself of some things this morning; get some perspective about the situation. I may not see any progress right now, but every time I practice that’s more progress than if I don’t do anything. I am forward moving. Joyce Meyer always says the battlefield is the mind and that’s where REAL change happens. I believe I CAN get better and that I WILL get better. I have to keep showing up on the mat. Keep going to classes. Keep believing in myself and my ability to do whatever I set my mind to. I have a successful record of rising to every occasion – why would this be different?

A good friend of mine reminded me of the scripture that I had in mind when I wrote my status and I feel it’s relevant to all of us on the journey of self-realization and self-development: “ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”—Galatians 6:9

Don’t give up on you.