Week 2 Journal: Exploring My Koshas

"I may not be where I want to be, but I'm not where I could potentially end up, either!"

This quote came to me in Sunday's practice class. Daren demonstrated how some people walk with rounded backs, or with tight quads and their butts sucked in ("the cowboy"). I couldn't help but laugh, but found the examples kind of comforting. I may have tight hips, but at least I don't have the posture of a 90-year-old granny!! Ha! I remember how difficult it used to be for my mom to lift her arms just doing simple activities like putting on a shirt. Rarely do we stop to give thanks for all of the mobility that we have. I was less frustrated this week about my lack of flexibility, and instead, chose to be grateful for the flexibility I have and the opportunity for it to improve in the future. I'm thankful that I chose to make my health a priority this year. If I had to choose a word to describe this week, it would be open. I was open to learning and trying some new things. At Daren's recommendation I checked out Swami J's website and found some really good information. I loved the lesson on "What do I want?" When I took Aadil's workshop a few weeks ago, he spoke about the desires that make our hearts smile. I know what some of those things are, but I'm trying to figure out a way to articulate them into a simple keyword like Swami J suggests. Inspired by my focus on the koshas this week, I also decided to have my very first acupunture treatment...get my Qi flowing! It was a good experience; couldn't even feel the needles when they were in.

A friend of mine sent me this photo of the statue woman and I instantly fell in love with it. When I look at this picture, I see myself and why I was drawn to teacher training. I know there is amazing energy and light within me, but I feel like there's this outer shell I need to break through to expose it. Sometimes the koshas are protective, but sometimes you can be held captive. I just want to be free...be authentic...live my dharma (as Aadil would say). This photo illustrates that the process of breaking through is truly an inside-out job. Developing my personal yoga practice is part of my internal work and this week I incorporated more meditation and journaling. There's a lot more chipping at my shell to do, but the process is underway... This week was a whirlwind week and I didn't practice on anyone. I called out cues to myself while doing Chakravakrasana, so I hope that counts. I really enjoy this sequence. It's relaxing once you get into a flow of doing it. A small group of us have agreed to meet an hour before class to go over vocabulary for the quiz. It's nice to have a support network early on and reading their messages throughout the week have been helpful. I'm not the only one trying to figure out how to get all of this done and make sense of everything.